I knew it the minute I put the new roll on the holder. This new toilet paper was, well, crap. I sat down on the floor of our half-bath and immediately wished I could go back. Back to Target to select the cushiony, double-rolled brand with the adorable little teddy bear.

But I couldn’t go back now. For one thing, I had thrown the receipt away and you know how Target is about that.  Secondly, and more important, I had argued and lobbied to my wife how I just couldn’t justify spending that much on something we just flush away. I put together a compelling, ten minute discussion as we moved up and down the aisles – a compassionate speech that was meant to persuade both her and anyone within earshot that toilet paper is bad for the environment and that by spending that much we’re just falling in line.